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| A Couple Pats and a Hawk ... Fan Life IS This Simple |
I married into the New England Patriots fan club. Prior to marrying their self professed #1 fan, the only time I watched football was the super bowl, and that was just the half time show. I gave birth to 4 little male child monsters. The #1 fan had a vote in what we named our first two boys .,, wait for it ... Drew and Bradyn. For those of you who have no idea why that means anything, please google"New England Patriots Quarterbacks". You are now either shaking your head in agreement and understanding or a face palm. Go with it. The bottom line is once those kids were out of utero they were in Patriots garb. Onesies, bibs, hats, jerseys, if you could slap New England Patriots on it, these boys wear it. Instead of fight the #1 fan, I embrace his love of the Pats as my own.
Over the years I have encountered other #1 football fans flanked by their children immortalizing their love of a team. It's written all over their onesie, bib, hat, socks ... you get the idea. A mega industry depends on #1 fans bringing up #1 fan spawn. And let's be honest, #1 fans can be like awkward teenagers with no social graces and/or tantrum ridden toddlers. However, no matter how socially bizarre or tantruming, #1 fans believe their team possesses some bizarre manifest destiny towards victory. This belief is passed down as sacred as religion for #1 fans. You live and die by your team.
Kudos to the Seattle Seahawks for tapping into the #1 fan industry madness creating the "12th man" mentality. What is a 12th man? It's an extra player. Applause Seahawks having created the perfect psychological warfare weapon ensuring a solid fan base... inclusion. Tell the fans they are PART of the team, they are the 12th man. Imagine a social leper just being invited to sit at the cool kids table. 12th man. And here in Seattle and the surrounding suburbs, you can't drive a block without seeing a "12" plastered somewhere.
For the past year we have "dealt" with this 12th man situation as Patriots fans. Our kids attend public schools that boast weekly "spirit" Fridays ... aka, wear your Seahawks gear. The schools are plastered in green and blue and 12 ... it's everywhere. AND when the Patriots won the super bowl, our 12 year-old gave us a teachable moment. He could have worn his Patriots jersey to school that following Monday and act smug and superior. Instead he chose not to wear that jersey because it would be "bad sportsmanship". Class. I hope all my kids have that same attitude.
I wonder about 12th man ... a week ago my 1st grader came home and squeeled, "Mom, Mom, next Wednesday is field day and ... and ... we get to wear our own spirit wear so I'm wearing my New England Patriots jersey!" He's been counting the days and every night he reminds me before bed, "Mom, remember I'm wearing my Patriots jersey for field day!" Today was the day. Finally. We had both reached the aggravated red zone with one another counting down to this moment. I grabbed a quick snapshot of he and his little brother before school. I knew he's be in a sea of 12th men, but I also know as much as we banter with the neighbors, everyone walks away laughing.
Imagine my surprise when he came home on the verge of tears. "How was school bird?" He responded, "Mom, it was supposed to be the best day ever all school year and it was the worst day ever!" Cue tears. What? I cautiously asked what happened assuming perhaps this was some first grade drama at field day ... I could not have been more wrong. "Mom, kids were so mean to me today." Huh? I asked if it was kids in his class. "No, nobody in my class ...". He then went on through tears to tell me that on the bus to and from school, recess, lunch, kids we're "being mean". I think the adult term is "hazing". My 42 pound wouldn't hurt a fly mentality kid was beaten down all day with phrases ranging from, "you suck!" to booing him when he crossed pass with others. He was so excited to wear his jersey ...
I tried to explain how what happened "wasn't fair" and showed "bad sportsmanship". But when you're 7 years-old, all you will walk away with is feeling like "I suck" and he wasn't wanted because that's what he heard all day. While I embrace being a fan, I'm quite frankly a little ill right now. I'm ill because I know the kids who taunted his day were only following parental social cues. I hope being a fan at our house never means morally demeaning another human being. I hope we can raise four boys that understand being a fan means understanding it is only a game.
The momma bear in me is livid. My heart aches for my son who had built this particular day into what should have been "the best day ever" into the "worst". It makes me want to get on his bus tomorrow, follow him around school, and have him point out every kid who haunted him today just so I can gather them up and speak in firm direct vocabulary explaining THIS is not fan behavior, this is being an asshole, return and report to your parents, because somewhere, somehow, you were taught by an asshole and they need to check their social prowess. BUT, this is only in my unrealistic mother bear world.
So here it is ... we're quite fond of Washington. We would like to raise our kids here. We love our neighborhood. We are surrounded by 12th men, and as competitive as things may seem, there is still a social cap on being an ass. The neighbors tolerate the banner on our house arguing "12" means Brady and not "12th man", and we tolerate having our Pats flag taken down all the time during the season. I will continue to dress my kids in Pats gear and Hawks you continue to dress them the same. We will continue to "deal" with being surrounded by all things Seahawks at work, school, and play with a smile on our face. But to be clear ... when the notion of being a #1 fan crosses into hazing my little guys or making their world feel unsafe ... we're in a new game. Let's keep it classy fans.
